Limiting Beliefs as Parents

Overwhelmed, Stretched, and Second-Guessing Everything?

Read This: The 3 Beliefs Draining the Confidence of ADHD Parents

A few weeks ago, I led a workshop with 45 parents of children diagnosed with ADHD, Autism and other learning differences. I asked them to start by writing down one word that described how they felt about their parenting experience. The responses were eye opening but not surprising.

Words like:
Overwhelmed. Lonely. Anxious. Insecure. Defeated. Exhausted. Worried. Frazzled. Uncertain. Stretched. Challenged. Clueless. Confused. Lost.

But also:
Excited. Okay. Patient. Resilient. Relieved. Inquisitive.

This emotional mix captures what it's like to parent a neurodivergent child. The highs are high with the most beautiful moments of connection, growth, and progress. But the lows? They can often feel like a free fall, like you are out of control, lacking the skills to make it stop.

And, it’s not just the outside world that’s hard. It’s the inside world too, that critical voice in your head that whispers:
“You’re not doing enough.”
“You’re failing your child.”
“You’re not equipped for this.”

These whispers, or stories, are called limiting beliefs, and they can quietly drain your energy, cloud your confidence, and leave you stuck in survival mode.

Let’s name them. Let’s challenge them. And let’s rewrite them together to help you build your confidence to match the great parent you already are.

1. Limiting Belief: "I’m not qualified to support my neurodivergent child."

Maybe you didn’t grow up knowing anything about ADHD, autism or sensory issues. Maybe you’ve Googled more in the past six months than you have in your whole life. Maybe you’ve questioned whether your own upbringing prepared you for this at all.

But here’s the truth: You don’t need a psychology degree to be the parent your child needs. You are already their most consistent guide, advocate, coach and safe haven.

Your child doesn’t need a perfect expert. They need a parent who shows up and who keeps learning, keeps loving, and keeps trying. Your compassion, your presence, and your commitment to understanding already make you more qualified than you think.

The fact that you're even worrying about whether you're doing a good job? That already makes you the kind of parent your child needs.

2. Limiting Belief: "If my child acts out, it means I’m failing."

When your child melts down in the supermarket or shouts at you during homework time, it’s easy to spiral into shame: What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I get this under control? Maybe my mother is right, I’m just encouraging this behavior!

But behavior is not a report card on your parenting.

It’s a form of communication especially when your child’s brain is still learning how to manage big feelings, transitions, and frustration.

Your child’s outburst doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means they’re struggling and can’t meet the expectations placed on them in that moment. And your response, whether calm, messy, or somewhere in between matters more than you think. Showing up again and again, with empathy and boundaries, teaches them something far more important than obedience. It teaches them self-regulation and trust.

And here’s something that might surprise you, research from Dr. Edward Tronick shows that parents only need to be emotionally attuned to their child around 30% of the time to foster secure attachment and healthy development. This concept of the “good enough” parent was first introduced by pediatrician and psychoanalyst Dr. Donald Winnicott in the 1950s, reminds us that it’s not about being perfect, it’s about being good enough, showing up consistently, and repairing when things go wrong.

Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent. They need a safe one. A present one. One who keeps coming back and who may be misattuned on more than enough occasions but then reflects, learns and repairs.

That means misreading, missing cues, and losing your cool is part of the process, not proof you're failing. You are not failing! You are parenting in high-stakes territory without a clear map and still showing up.

That’s success.

3. Limiting Belief: "Parenting means always being in control."

Let’s be honest, for most of us, being “in control” feels safe. It’s predictable. It gives us the illusion that we can prevent meltdowns, arguments, or school issues if we just stay one step ahead of the game and anticipate challenges in advance.

But parenting, especially with a neurodivergent child, isn’t about control. It’s about connection.

Control says, “Do what I say or else” It’s threatening, fear based and very rarely works.

Connection says, “You’re struggling. I’m here with you, even now.” It creates safety and support even in the eye of the storm.

Staying connected when your child is yelling, when you’re exhausted, when your partner dismisses the behavior as symptoms of ADHD or autism for the fifth time, when you’re crying in the car after another school meeting, that’s not weakness. That’s courage.

Control may occasionally create temporary compliance.
Connection creates long-term resilience.

So Where Does That Leave You?

If you’ve found yourself thinking things like:

• “I should be able to handle this better.”

• “Other parents seem to have it all together.”

• “I’m ruining my child because I lose my temper.”

You’re not the only one who feels like this and you’re not broken.
You’re a loving parent in a really hard situation, trying your absolute best often without enough support.

The voice in your head that tells you you’re not enough? That voice is lying.
Let’s replace it with something better.

What’s actually true is this:

• You are qualified to support your family and all the differing needs

• You are not failing when your child struggles, you’re learning together.

• You don’t need to be in control. You need to be present and connected.

• You are resilient. Even if you don’t feel like it today

Ready to Start Rewriting These Beliefs?

If you’re nodding along, thinking, “This is me”, I want to invite you into a space created just for you.

This summer, I’m opening a special Summer School edition of my Empowered Parent Group Coaching Program designed specifically for parents like you, who feel like there’s no time during the school year to pause and invest in themselves.

Between managing one child’s emotional outbursts, reminding the other child (again) to pack her school bag, and trying to get your partner to read the article you sent him on ADHD, I know your bandwidth is low.
That’s why summer is the perfect time.

It’s your chance to:

• Shift your mindset

• Strengthen your connection with your child(ren)

• Learn practical tools that make family life calmer and more connected

• Create stratetgies and structures that will make life feel easier and more manageable

All without squeezing it in between school runs, soccer games, dance recitals, and doggy daycare.

Join the Insider List Here
You’ll be the first to know when registration opens and receive exclusive insider-only bonuses to help you hit the ground running.

You don’t need to parent perfectly.
You just need to parent consciously with the right support, with compassion, and with the right tools.

Let’s get started together. I look forward to seeing you Inside.