Why Parents Who Want to Avoid ADHD Medication Work With Me
This is the blog I wish someone had written for me when I was standing outside the doctor’s office, terrified to make the wrong choice for my child.
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably already googled ADHD medication, Ritalin, methylphenidate, amphetamines, or stimulants and come away feeling more anxious than informed.
The internet is full of horror stories. The media has done a terrible job of explaining what these medications actually do, and instead, they’ve created a culture of fear.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a parent say, “I don’t want to drug my child,” or “They put my child on Ritalin and he turned into a zombie.”
And every time, my heart breaks a little, not because I don’t understand the fear, but because I know what’s really happening underneath those stories. I was that parent, the one standing with my husband in the parking lot before walking into the doctor’s office, making him pinky swear we were not drugging our child. Under no circumstances was I going to give my kid “speed”… or so I thought.”
The Truth About ADHD Medication
When ADHD medication is prescribed and monitored properly, it doesn’t dull a child.
It doesn’t erase their personality.
It doesn’t turn them into someone else.
What it does, and this is the part the media gets wrong, is give a child access to parts of their brain that were never firing efficiently in the first place.
Medication doesn’t make your child different.
It helps them become who they actually are, calm, connected, capable, and able to access the skills we’re all trying to teach them.
I’ve seen the transformation countless times. Children who couldn’t sit through a meal without a meltdown now laughing at the dinner table. Parents who spent every morning in tears before school now describing peaceful goodbyes.
And the biggest surprise?
The families who say this the most are the ones who began our work saying, “We’re not going the medication route.”
“We Don’t Want to Medicate” — And Why That’s Okay
I never push medication.
In fact, most of the families who come to me are deeply hesitant about it. They want to explore every possible alternative first… coaching, diet, routines, supplements and that’s a good thing.
Because when you truly understand ADHD - the neurochemistry, the emotional dysregulation, the executive function struggles and you stop thinking about medication as a shortcut or a failure, and start seeing it for what it really is: a powerful tool that, for some children, makes everything else possible.
When the Brain Is in Meltdown, You Can’t Coach It
Parents often come to me after months (or years) of trying everything: reward charts, therapy, tutoring, “just more structure.”
But if a child’s dopamine system is severely underpowered, no amount of behavioral strategy will stick because their brain chemistry is working against them.
I hear stories every week of children who come home from school screaming, crying, hitting, collapsing on the floor, completely overwhelmed. And parents sit across from me, exhausted, whispering, “Please, just fix them.”
But the truth is, there’s nothing to “fix.”
They are not “broken”.
There’s only a brain that’s struggling to regulate itself. Read more about the ADHD dysregulation model here.
Until that brain chemistry is balanced, through the right medication, at the right dose, prescribed by someone who understands ADHD all the therapy, coaching, and parenting tools in the world are unlikely to give you the results you are praying for.
Dr. med. Roland Kägi, Pediatrician and board member of the Swiss Fachgesellschaft ADHS, has become a trusted colleague and someone I’m deeply grateful to refer families to. He helped me understand the role stimulants play by comparing them to diabetes. “If your child had diabetes, would we be debating whether to start insulin?” he asked as we sat across from him.
That analogy changed everything for me. When he explained how stimulant medication similarly balances brain chemistry, I realised I couldn’t let fear stand in the way of getting my son the treatment he needed.”
The “Zombie” Myth
When a child looks flat, tired, or absent on medication, that isn’t ADHD medication working; that’s ADHD medication mismanaged.
It’s the wrong medication, the wrong dose, or the wrong release mechanism.
When it’s done right, parents say things like:
“It’s like someone finally turned the lights on.”
“He’s himself again, just calmer.”
“She can focus, but she’s still full of personality.”
Medication isn’t supposed to take away your child’s spark.
It’s supposed to help them shine.
Real Families, Real Change
These are the kinds of transformations that happen when families stop fighting the diagnosis and start working with it.
In the first module of my ADHD family coaching program, I give parents the foundational knowledge they need to make the right choices for their children, themselves, and their family - based on research, understanding and not fear.
“Our family dynamic has changed in such a positive way since working together with Kelly. After every single call, we come away with insights and practical steps. We’ve learned so much about our children’s behaviour and their ADHD brains.”
— Joline, Switzerland
“Since working with Kelly, the most valuable change for our family has been understanding neurodiversity and building better tools. My husband and I both have more patience now, and our family dynamics have definitely improved.”
— Eileen, Switzerland
What Happens When You Wait Too Long
Parents often think waiting is the safe choice.
It feels like “doing no harm.”
But with ADHD, waiting is harm.
Every day your child struggles to focus, regulate, or connect, they’re building a self-narrative that says: I’m bad. I can’t do this. I’m too much.
My son kept hearing from his teachers, “he’s so smart but the rubber doesn’t hit the road”. How does that make a child feel?
Research shows that untreated ADHD children hear 20,000 more negative messages by age 10 than their peers.
That’s not just a number. That’s the reality of their self-esteem, confidence, and identity being shaped in real time.
You wouldn’t tell a child with asthma to “breathe harder” So why do we tell a child with ADHD to “try harder”?
The Bottom Line
I don’t believe medication is for everyone.
But I do believe it’s misunderstood and that fear has stopped far too many children from thriving.
Medication doesn’t fix ADHD.
Think of it this way: if your child was in a wheelchair, you wouldn’t expect them to climb stairs on their own, you’d build a ramp. Medication can be that ramp. It doesn’t do the climbing for them, but it gives them access to the same opportunities as everyone else. It’s not a shortcut; it’s an equaliser.
It creates the foundation where skills can be built, relationships can heal, and families can finally connect.
And that’s why so many parents who start out saying “We don’t want medication” end up working with me.
Because I don’t shame their hesitation. I educate, support, and walk beside them until they’re ready to make a choice based on knowledge not fear.
Your Child Deserves More Than Fear
If your child is struggling, please don’t let your fear or misinformation stand between them and the help they need.
There are safe, evidence-based, life-changing options available and you don’t have to navigate them alone. In fact, Stimulant medications are among the most widely tested treatments in child psychiatry, prescribed to millions of children worldwide and they consistently show 70–80% effectiveness across all core ADHD symptoms. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024).
Let’s give your child the chance to feel calm, capable, and confident in their own skin.
Because ADHD medication isn’t about changing who your child is, it’s about helping them finally feel at home in their own brain.
If you’re ready to better understand your child’s brain and bring more calm, connection, and confidence to your home, I’d love to support you.
The next intake for the Sinaps ADHD Family Transformation Program starts in January 2026.
We’ll cover not only the foundations of ADHD but also the practical strategies that create lasting change for your family.
Join the waitlist here and be the first to know about the program and early bird discounts.
Reference:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2024). Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): Treatment and Therapies.